Jul 28, 2009
Hi Ladies;
My first day on the cleanse was yesterday. I wieghed in that morning at (for me) an astounding 178lbs. I am 5'4" and am used to wieghing 135-140. When I met my husband 6 years ago I was a very slim and trim 125. I always swore I would not be one of those ladies who gains a bunch of wieght just because she found someone who would love her no matter what. But here I am.
This morning I was excited about the scale because I was sure I had lost at least a pound of water. Well, better than that, I wieghed in at 172! I can't believe how motivated I feel to carry on. I loved what "carriemurray" said yesterday about she was either 75lbs to 350 or 75lbs to 150, and the choice was hers.
I know this might sound wierd, but I actually think gaining wieght for me was a good thing. I hate to admit this to all of you, but before this I used to take my looks for granted. I never had to worry about what to wear. Now I sometimes take 3 hours to prepare to go out in public, so ashamed am I of how I look. I stuff and tuck and try to hide and spend way too much money on clothes that claim to make me look a size smaller. I had no idea how difficult it was to be heavy. Now when I see a heavy person looking good, I have so much respect for her because I know how hard that is to pull off.
Also, I never used to experience pain. I was a perky girl who felt good all the time and now... Well I have sore ankles, feet, elbows, lower back and to cross my legs has become a chore similar to climbing a large mountain. Now when I see a larger girl sitting in the same spot at a party, I get it. If I find a spot where I am decently comfortable and somewhat hidden - that is where I am staying until I have to pee or shovel in more food. Sad but true.
So today is another day, and I pray that I reach my goal wieght of 135 by October. In the meantime, it is one day at a time.
Thank you to all of you ladies for your inspiring posts, I have been reading them constantly and feel like I can do this because of you!